Rescue and Redemption

Rescue? Redemption?

The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return to your home and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him.

Luke 8:38

Context: This dude is possessed by this crazy, multi-faceted demon called “Legion.” Legion trembles with fear at the sight of Jesus, and Jesus commands that the demon leave the man. The demon goes into a few nearby pigs, which proceed to run into the water and drown. The man is then freed and is radically changed; Legion had him running around in the nude, chained to rocks and living in caves. The community was well aware of the crazed effect this demon had on this man. All this to say, Legion leaving this guy would be a pretty radical change in the eyes of his community. So, after he’s freed, the guy is following Jesus around in his city, and then Jesus tells him the above. Why wouldn’t Jesus just let him carry on with his disciples? The answer I think comes just a few verses before:

“No one after lighting a lamp covers it with a jar or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light.”-Jesus

Luke 8:16

So, my friends and I have been talking about God being not just a God of rescue, but of redemption. Let me be clear: the two are not mutually exclusive. This is not a rescue v. redemption mentality. ‘nuff said.

We often see rescue and redemption as the same thing, ie redemption is rescue. But that’s not necessarily always true. Rescue is enfolded in redemption, but redemption is much more. My dictionary defines rescue as:

“to save (someone) from a dangerous or distressing situation”

whereas redemption is defined as:

“the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil” OR “the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt”

In Christian circles, the former definition of redemption is probably the one that is reached first. But, my roommate Katie and I were talking this morning at the gym about how to convey redemption to any person on the street. We thought, how is “redemption” used in our culture? Most commonly, we “redeem” gift cards or coupons. And what does that get you? Something for free or at a discounted price. You didn’t have to buy it or pay the difference, someone else already did. This falls in line more with the second definition of redemption.

That said, let’s talk rescue. Rescue means “saving from,” which connotes that an individual, puppy or Aunt Bessie’s ring will be taken out of a situation that would bring peril. It connotes removal.

Now, redemption is more about gaining something in exchange for payment, ie you get that awesome new sweater from GAP because your grandma got you a gift card for Columbus Day, and there is no dent in your bank account as a result. Redemption isn’t bound by context, or removal from a context. It happens in any context. Translated to the idea of evangelism, or seeing others saved by the grace of God, redemption looks like receiving forgiveness, freedom and grace from God despite being a sinner, wherever you are. Furthermore, it means that redemption takes place in any context.

As I was spending time reading the Bible on Tuesday, God brought this idea to light in my reading of Luke 8. Jesus does rescue the demon-tormented man. In fact, word about the miraculous healing of the man gets out to the community, and they come around and find the previously-demon-possessed man sitting at Jesus’ feet learning. (They are a little freaked out, since they’ve only since this man as a crazed person.) But, these people then went back and told their communities how he was healed. Because of this, the community asks Jesus to leave; they were shocked by his power. Anyway, the healed man asks Jesus if he can go with him. And what does Jesus say?

“No.”

Jesus leaves the man with his community, to shine his lamp, telling of the goodness of God. Jesus’ hope, it seems, is to see others know God through what God has done to this man. Strategically, it allows His message to cover more ground, but it also keeps a disciple rooted in his original community. It was there in which people know he was demon-possessed. They will see the full transformation of his healing, rather than thinking he made up some cockamamie story. This good news has greatest relevance and credibility in this man’s community. Jesus seeks redemption of all, not just the rescue of one.

The idea is not pull someone out of their community to “save” them (the rescue idea), but to see them saved by God and remain in their community, being a light to it (the redeem idea)--and the latter is clearly illustrated in these verses. Furthermore, keeping these individuals rooted in their community widens the door to meet other people. Rather than rescuing individuals by uprooting them and drawing them in our church doors and shutting the door soundly behind them, impressing conformity to our church culture, we allow God to do a new thing in their community by keeping those relationships.

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Author’s note: This is not to say that some situations are “toxic,” and in those cases rescue and redemption are more synonymous. Also, I am not saying that we should never bring people we meet to our churches. Churches can provide some good grounding to build character and build into the life of a seeker and/or new Christian. I’m just encouraging us to look outside the model we have, and to think about reaching people in their community, going to the places they are, since that’s what Jesus did.
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God really hammered this home for me this week. In one of my social work courses at school, we were talking about a child’s ability to advance out of poverty. We discussed this article by Melissa Abelev (2009), which proposed that low-income students need to have access to middle class values in order to succeed. On a surface level, this makes sense: middle class values are widely celebrated in American culture and are required for social interactions in daily life, such as ability to find work, a spouse, or friends. However, many of the students featured in this article self-selected into obtaining middle class values. They were high performers in school and presented what a middle class mentor may see as potential. They were selected by a middle-class individual, given scholarships to prep schools and access to special programs. In essence, they were rescued out of their situation. In fact, Abelev writes “A key theme in the data collection was that children were pulled out of low performing public schools and placed into higher performing private schools, generally by a mentor outside the family who was part of the middle class.” How much more of rescue can you get than “pulled out”? But that’s not the point. The point is: what about the kids that didn’t get picked? Do they lack potential? The answer is no. We all have potential.

Here’s the interesting thing. Teachers in low-income schools have followed through with students (whole classes of them!) to the end, to see high rates of graduation and continuation to college. And these teachers did it within those low-income schools. Certainly, some of these teachers were from the middle class, and without a doubt, some of their middle-class values and actions were imparted in the process. But, they did it in the students’ context. This, my friends, is redemption.

Interestingly, a non-believing student in my class expressed her aggravation with the rescue method that Abelev seemed to advocate. She stated that we are taught to work in non-traditional settings, that the system needs to be changed, that we are responsible for those “other kids” that don’t self-select into mentorship by some benevolent middle-class person. Social workers, my friends, are looking for the redemption model too. It was so encouraging that someone else, outside of my Christian bubble, identified the same issue I did, and longs to see the model Christ used in everyday, practical issues of this world. It encouraged me how much the world, regardless of knowing it, is crying out for redemption.

Sacrifice, Obedience and Calling

Two Sundays ago, my friend Jesse preached on life being about God's vision and not our own. I really liked it, but I had to do some working through it on my own. The day after, God pointed me to a few scriptures and then I started to get it. Let me set it up for you...

Jesse read 1 Samuel 15:22, which reads:

Has the Lord great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.

Basically, here God is saying, I'd appreciate it if you obeyed me rather than making sacrifices...keep this in mind...

So, Jesse's talking about living in God's vision and our gifts sliding into it, rather than God fitting a "calling" into our gifts, or even God fitting into our "calling." Let me explain a bit. What do you think of when people ask you about your calling? I (and Jesse) think about what we're good at, where are gifts lie, and then define a calling from those points. However, this can be limiting. Are we to totally throw away the context God has placed us in because we are so sure of our calling? What if context supersedes calling? I know from personal experience that I have denied serving my community because I felt "called" to the nations. This has definitely changed for me. But, I use it as an example. The idea is that God has given us gifts, and those slide into His vision, rather than God sliding into our vision.

Ok, so that's how Jesse sets up the talk. Then, he starts talking about sacrifice vs. obedience. Sacrifice, he said, is something we do of our own choosing; it's individual and singularly directed. To help myself, and hopefully you, understand this, I drew a diagram...

Now, obedience is a cooperation between you and God...
Now, the idea in 1 Samuel 15:22 is reprised in Jesus' words in Matthew 9:9-13 and 12:1-8. Here's some recap and context...

Matthew 9:13-"Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."
Context: Jesus was chilling with the tax collectors. Some Pharisees came up and told Jesus, "Dude, you shouldn't be hanging out here with these people if you're holy and all." The above phrase is how Jesus responds.

Matthew 12:7-"And if you had known what this means, 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the guiltless."
Context: Jesus and his disciples are plucking heads of grain on the Sabbath because they are hungry. The Pharisees show up and are like, "Dude, Jesus, no work on the Sabbath." And Jesus is like, "Don't you know David did what was not lawful? God doesn't punish priests who profane the Sabbath. I'm here and you should learn what the above phrase means, because I'm Lord of the Sabbath."

What does this all mean. Translated into Jesus's time and phrasing, this would mean God does not desire living by your own volition and choosing to worship God and/or allowing God to work in your life when you feel like it, nor should you be legalistic and ridiculous. Rather, God wants mercy. Dictionary.com defines mercy as:

compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy or other person in one's power; compassion, pity or benevolence.

Jesus doesn't desire mindless, self-selecting rule following or condemnation. (A sacrifice, if you will, since the practice of sacrifice at this point, particularly on the part of the Pharisees/Sadducees, was legalistic and a self-chosen practice to make one feel important or superior. This is strikingly similar to how we elevate our selves by prizing our gifts and asking god to squeeze into them.)

Rather, His vision is mercy: allowing God to direct you, to say, "Go on, help that guy"; "Forgive her"; "Love my people"; "Obey my voice"; "Go where I lead"; "Listen, my child." Overall, this just got me thinking about how to live life. Our culture has told us that obedience equals oppression and conformity; it's a forced procedure rather than the cooperative practice that God intended. So, if we're living in obedience and mercy, what does that mean?

It means going where God leads, even if/when it's uncomfortable. It means realizing it is not my world or life, but His. It means losing my life to the glory of Christ to find it. It means following God every step of the way, using those weak muscles, fumbling a bit and relying on God. He hasn't let me down this far. Why would He now?

For more on this topic, please see my friend Jesse's blog: sudirgo.wordpress.com and read "Vision is Not About You" and "An Everyday Kind of Calling."

Zimbabwe, Final Entry

Thirteenth Entries: 6-2-10

It’s really the end now. Our flight from South Africa to Atlanta was pretty easy--surprisingly. I watched tons of movies and TV and crashed for a good chunk of the flight. I had to hustle tog et to my flight to Boston--but I had time to freshen up--change clothes, put on some deodorant and get a Starbucks. Sweet fancy Moses, I’ve missed lattes! It’s just two hours to Boston now.

I’m feeling a little mixed--definitely ready to be home, and I have been refreshed. I feel at peace about not really going anywhere for the next little while, and I could see living abroad much more clearly now. Same and Marlene made it so natural--it doesn’t have to be out-in-the-sticks-with-nothing-whatsoever-mission. It’s about living and learning. I think it’s certainly given me a lot, a new perspective on living and working, of how cross-cultural mission can be anywhere, of prayer and reigning in life, of places to go and things to learn, of living and moving in the Spirit, of being open to prophecy and tongues and healing--God is amazing and I am feeling transformation within me. I only hope, as Sam said, not to let go of it too soon. I hope it sticks in me and encourages others.

Zimbabwe, Eleventh and Twelflth Entries

We had a great time in Dotitto. CBS went well and we camped! It was beautiful, the stars were so big and bright and various groups of people would sing through out the night. A few stories of interest...

At the end of the conference, this little boy James was playing around ,saw me and wanted to come visit. We had a lot of fun--airplaning and such. I was walking around with him and Esther said, “Wow. He was afraid of white people, but he seems to have warmed up to you.” So cool! He also thought Nathan was Jesus because h’d seen the Jesus Film-and since Nathan is a white guy with a brown beard and hair he must be Jesus. When we were leaving, James was crying his head off, and Esther said, “Aw, little Jamie loves Jesus.”

The other is this--when I said goodbyes to the cooking ladies, who’d become friendly with me because I was clearing the table since I was the youngest (traditional in Shona culture), and one said something to me in Shona, to which I just smiled and said “Ok!” She and the others just laughed their heads off. Too funny.

We hung out a bit at Erica Road, where we’ll be having CBS training today. Then, Tongai took us home and we played with Shane and Hoel. Joel loosened up by the end of the night, talking and all and had quite a bit of fun by the end with my camera. WE also watched “New Hour” on ZBC--which Joy is pretty much propaganda. A lot of controversy over the new discovery of diamonds in Zimbabwe ad Mugabe not wanting to adhere to the Kimberly Process which protects worker’s rights--humane treatment, fair wages and such.

Tim to bed now, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Twelfth entires: 6-1-10

Well, the end of our time in Zimbabwe has come...we are now in South Africa, and Ginger left to continue her travels in Cape Town today.

Our last few days there, Tongai took us on a tour of the city. We saw it from the Toposcope, which is a viewing point in the middle of the city. He took us to a flea market where we got a few wares and then went home. Sunday, we went to church at Westgate, and were welcomed in. Sam told a great message and had a good word for the church. Then, we made the drive back to Bulawayo in the afternoon. The next day we hung out a bit and then were off to the airport.

We had a great day yesterday, chatting with Lindsey and Tim. We all met Linsey’s dad, Bill, who was quite nice and funny. Wished we could’ve chatted more.

I can’t believe it’s over, it passed so quickly. Off to Atlanta we go...in 17 and a half hours...

Zimbabwe, Ninth and Tenth Entries

Ninth entries: 5-26-10

Good morning! I’ve had a HOT shower this morning! Now outside with a cup of coffee, enjoying the warm morning sun and the sounds of birds. Glorious.

After the girls discipleship time yesterday, we got into a truck and went to Crossroads, where we connected with the two Andy’s and Gloria from the Nehemiah Project, which works with HIV/AIDS prevention and awareness. There, Stephen shared his heart for Crossroads--they built toilets and currently have chickens and goats, with plans to build a children’s building, a main worship center, grow some crops according to Farming God’s Way perhaps even a sewing business and a bicycle shop. Big vision for the community. We prayed there and it was powerful. One of the Andy’s had Stephen hold a log and pound it into the ground, saying that as the shockwaves would ripple across the land, so would the shockwaves of the work they are doing spread.

Then we “nipped” to a piece of land that a prominent woman in the community had given to Stephen-which is a BIG DEAL, Since land is scarce, and it serves as the source of power and income. (A word about nipped: people often “nip” into town “just now” in Southern Africa. This, though it sounds like a quick trip, is not so. Nipping often takes a while, and the “just now” means in a little, or long while...you get the picture). Stephen had a sense to go ask for land to plant sunflowers to press into oil, so cooking oil would be readily available to the community. He went to go ask this prominent woman, very concerned, and she had a dream wherein God said a man would come to ask her about oil and she must give him what he wanted. So, she gave him the land. There is now vision to build houses for the Ebenezer guys who aren’t from that community. I had a picture of sunflowers with flower pointed to the sky, the light coming out of them, showing the community the face of God. I don’t know how it was received, but I hope it encouraged.

Then, we went to a women’s house to pray for her upcoming court case--a man had stolen three of her cattle and rebranded them, but their brand is similar to hers. Now they are playing the political card, saying she is an MDC supporter (ie not a Mugabe supporter). It’s a very hard time. We prayed that truth would prevail and we prayed for her two boys, and then returned to Ebenezer.

There, Brilliant took us on the rest of the tour, showing us his fields. Then, we had a celebration lunch of sudza and meat. The apprentices sang and danced and did a skit for us. Very funny. My favorite was the young men singing.

After that, it was sadly time to go. We said goodbye and then went back to Pamula to pack up. We got back to Bulawayo, talked with Stephen some more and then had tea and cookies, a nice meal and slept.

Also, Marlene made and brought several cookies (aka biscuits) to Ebenezer, one flavor of which was snickerdoodles. We taught Stephen and the apprentices that word and they thought it was sooo funny. Laughter erupted every time we said it. The girls, and the cook, Andrew, want to learn how to bake them. So, next week for the girls’ discipleship time, they’ll learn to make peanut butter cookies. They’ll call it Baking God’s way! (Post-trip remark: the totally did this, and there was no wastage!)

The faith here is so big, though resources are small.

Tenth Entries: 5-27-10

Long day in the car yesterday from Bulawayo to Harare, but quite comfy in the back of Renee Cunningham’s truck. We got in about 6:00pm and met at River of Life Eastlea with Tongai, Teach, and had the good fortune of running into Bones and Tash. Tongai took Ginger and I home with him for the night. He pastors/is elder at River of Life Westgate, but lives about 1K from Estlea. We met his wife, Joy, and 2 children, Joel and Shane--very cute! We hung out for a while and then had a delicious meal. Then, we had a really good time talking to Joy and Tongai--Tongai had to pull Joy away because we’d be back on Friday.

Then we got up early today and let for Dotitto at 6am. I slept most of the way here, and I’m still tired. Luckily, many of the guys here for CBS Training are just as tired, having walked upwards of 20K to get here. Everyone is so kind here-they made a big spread of tea and bread for us upon arrival, with some cookies. They had praise and worship and now it’s time for training. So cool to hear the guys’ hearts for the local churches out here. They ask good questions and have good feedback for CBS.

Zimbabwe, Seventh and Eighth Entries

Seventh Entries: 5-24-10
I forgot to mention some things from yesterday. They hang flags of the nations at Crossroads and pray for the nations. It’s so cool to see that there is a heart for the nations here too. They also have a vision to extend into the communities around and across Zimbabwe. Fantastic to see the parallels between here and Fenway.


Eighth Entires: 5-25-10

Today is our last day in Kezi. Yesterday was really great. We had a very easy morning and a good lunch. Then we watched Stephen teach the second years about false prophets. He’s a gifted teacher--so expressive and truth just rolls out of his mouth. I’ve been wishing my theology teachers were this good. I felt like I was actually learning what I want to.

After Stephen’s lesson, Brilliant (they have GREAT names here. For instance, a woman here is named Blessing, and she named her child Moreblessing!) took us on a partial tour of Ebenezer. He told us the four pillars of Foundations for Farming:
Do things on time.
Do things to a high (godly) standard.
No wastage.
Do your work with joy.

I was thinking how different my life would be if I carried out my schoolwork and life by these. I think I’ll try. Brilliant says these four things provide a framwork for his life. He also told us that before he knew God, whenever he’d work in the field, he would feel sick. Them when he accepted Christ, his sickness went away. Brilliant is a really amazing guy-he loves God and wants to bring the gospel to his community, to get married, and build a house of his own. He’s a graduate at Ebenezer, with huge fields and on fire for God.

He showed us the composting and the fields. The compost serves as fertilizer in most cases and as a basal layer of soil. Mulch is used to retain water and fertilize top soil. They have an experimental plot where they test different methods. They also crop rotate to sustain the land--growing maize, cabbage, tomatoes, sugar beans, potatoes (which are more costly) and onions. It’s really amazing to see their faithfulness and diligence out there.

Sam then told the story of Paul’s visit to Rome and Romans 7:1-8, which covers our relationship to the law and our marriage to Christ--good stuff! And so cool to see the guys of Crossroads get it.

We came back to the house and Kesneth (pronounced Keznet), our housekeeper in Pamula, (Author’s note: housekeepers, guards, and gardeners are common to Zim households; if you have the means to provide a job, you should, so the rule goes) made us a delicious meal, and Stephen joined us. He shared a lot about the culture--how difficult marriage is, family issues...he’s up against a lot, but the battle is God’s and he’s trusting Him to prevail.

We turned in early, only to be woken by Ginger’s screams as out bat friend scared her in the hall. (Author’s note: At the house in Pamula, a bat would routinely fly in to the house around 5:00, shoot down the hall and then back out into the living room periodically. This night, it stationed itself in Nathan’s room, and we scared it out of there, but it was hiding and flew at Ginger in the darkened house.)

Today was Africa Day, a national holiday in Zim. We headed to Ebenezer in the morning and first had discipleship with Marlene and the women of Ebenezer. Ginger and I shared our testimonies, and it turns out she, Marlene and I were all lead to Christ through children’s programs. Since all these girls are involved with Crossroads, and most of them with children’s ministry, we were able to encourage them in their work with children. We then shared favorite verses and it was so good to see their hearts and who God has been for them. Lots of stories of provision and protection.

Zimbabwe, Sixth Entries

Sixth Entries: 5-23-10

Sitting on the back deck of Pamula (said puh-moo-la, signifying “rest), our home in Kezi, the view is of ostrich, grazing and “dancing” as Sam says--their mating routine. The generator sputters in the background, allowing Sam, Molly and Marlene access to the internet. Pamula is the Cunningham’s ostrich farmhouse-and it’s beautiful. It looks out across the fields and bush of Kezi and onto beautiful mountains of granite-one looks like the other half of Half Dome. I am wanting to watch The Lion King now, since I feel like I’m living it.

The backyard at Pamula

We headed out to Kezi at 8am this morning and rolled in on roads that went from ok to bad to worse. We arrived safe and sound, and then had prayer with the Crossroad church at Ebenezer, since the tent they usually meet in was destroyed in a recent storm. Church was so lively! The Zims sing a different way than we do, with one person leading and the others repeat or follow, sometimes saying the same thing, sometimes different-it’s well worked out between the members. Lots of dancing and hand motions too. Some shared scripture. One older woman came up and testified about God lifting her heart after the death of her daughter a few weeks ago, and about receiving the ability to speak after 40 years. When she came up, she sang first, then spoke and then sang again to finish her testimony. It truly was a celebration of what the Lord had done for her, especially in a culture that instructs people to mourn for a year after someone’s death. Stephen told the story of Acts 4, bringing the story to life and then dialoging with the church. Then we prayed for a few people who needed healing, it was intense. Everyone was so happy to have us and I was so happy to be there.

After the service, Stephen told us about a few things that were important to knowing the community. There are these bones up the hill at Ebenezer, of a 16 year old girl of the village, who was raped, beaten and killed in the genocide around 1983-5. This was Mugabe’s “moment of madness,” which I referred to before, which resulted in the death of upward of 25,000 people in Matabeleland (in the south). It greatly devastated this area. When Stephen and the church entered, they wanted to bury the bones to honor the woman, and involved the village out of respect. But, the chief said several rituals have to be done since it is “something bigger than them.” After 3 years, still nothing has been done with the bones. Then, when there was no rain for months, the chief said the exposed bones prevented rain from coming. But, Stephen and the church prayed for rain and it came before the bones were collected. Praise God. Also, this weekend, Stephen and all of us prayed for a mist for the fields, which is unseasonable in this time of year. But guess what?! It came! For the past two days! Why mist, you may ask? Because people walk 10 kilometers or more to get to church, and rain would keep them from coming. :)

After eating and chatting a bit, we went to Pamula. Sam took the team to the dam, a beautiful structure that would survive an 100-year flood. It was gorgeous and has a good story behind it. Peter Cunningham had a desire to build a dam in Kezi, but most everyone thought it was a waste. He had a dream that he would meet a man to make the dam. He called an architect, and wouldn’t you know, that man had had a dream, that he would build a dam, it would be his last project. The man drew up the plans for the dam, and died 2 weeks later. The dam was built, filled within a month, despite other’s thinking it would never fill, and now there is water for the region of Kezi. After a few pictures at the dam, we returned home for a good night’s rest.

The dam at Kezi

Zimbabwe, Fifth Entries

Fifth Entries: 5-22-10

We’re back at base camp for a night. Prayer and fasting at Antelope Park was awesome. It was so cool to see how God is working, or “on the move” in Africa, as they say here.

So, Ginger and I moved rooms last night-I went to our room to take a rest before the evening activities; then at 10 til, Sue knocked on my door and I bounded up to open it, but couldn’t! It was jammed. I had Sue and our housekeeper, Goga, push against the door while I pulled, but still nothing. Sue sent for the maintenance man, Samo, who started from the outside, taking the doorknob off, but still couldn’t get it open. So, he came to my window and had me unscrew and lift out the grate that covered my window so he could climb in. (This made quite a mess of our room.) Then, he got the other part of the doorknob plate off and got out the jammed lock, and I was set free. A bit like being in prison, haha...

So, prayer and fasting-AWESOME. Luckily, I wasn’t too late because they pushed the start time to 6 pm. We sand songs a cappella-in Shona, Ndebele and English.

And now, a brief intermission for some Zimbabwean background: There are two groups of native people in Zimbabwe, the Shona and the Ndebele. Ndebele are typically located in the Southwest of the country, and are smaller in size and power than the Shona. Shona is the more dominant group, located everywhere else in Zimbabwe. The current president, Robert Mugabe, is Shona in ethnicity, and orchestrated a genocide of Ndebele early in his rule, which he now will not apologize for, but merely terms a “moment of madness.” Nevertheless, there is some latent tension between the two groups, although God is directing some wonderful acts of reconciliation. Now, imagine the lights in the theater flashing to signal that it’s time to return to your seats for the rest of the show.

The singing was king of like a Ladysmith Black Mombazo concert- the voices were so beautiful, harmonies naturally emerged. All this interspersed with prayers asking God to speak. Scott Marques shared about enjoying our time together, but trusting one another enough to go, similar to Fenway’s “gather to scatter” theme. We also talked and prayed on receiving God’s grace anew. It was a beautiful time.

Then, Ginger and I hung out with Sue, Shelton and Carola and got to hear about how God is working in Shelton’s life; he’s figuring out why God is opening so many doors. Afterward, Ginger and I had a great talk about mission and where God wants us.

So far this trip has shown me that I love Africa, but I also have a heart for the American church and Boston. I’ve realized too that it’s hard for me to be here because it is not my home, not where I live. Boston is really my city these days-I love it there and seeing change there is really what I desire. Maybe something that connects me to the nations is in store...maybe this trip will bury seeds in my heart that will come to fruition later in my life. I realized today my joy and contentment in serving college women. I really love building strong, loving relationships with them and investing in their lives. I want to be the woman in the church that a young woman needs, to confide in, or ask the hard questions. This is certainly an interesting thought to have here in Africa. More than ever, the idea of a bakery with good friends sounds great. I’d be ready to plant myself somewhere, or to bring a NewFrontiers church to California. All of these options that once felt like being “trapped in the states” now sound appealing. Am I clinging to home/fearful of mission? or is God revealing new attitudes in and to me?

This morning, prayer and fasting continued. We heard from all the different churches and areas NewFrontiers is working in in Zim and South Africa. It was great-to hear how reliance on God can change a nation, how people are trusting God despite failed crops, to hear prayers for real faith-that believes that a “kingdom on earth as it is in heaven” is possible and, more than that, is definitely coming. There were many prophetic words-I even got one about the 4 leaders in Harare, weird. That’s the second one I’ve got since being here. I wonder what God is stirring in me.

All ended well, and we are a delicious, celebratory lunch and then hung out with Tash and Molly. Oh, and I got to know Taps and his wife, Flora, and their daughter, better over lunch-they are wonderful people. Then we departed and arrived home. A little down time now and ostrich burgers for dinner.

Off for a stay in Kezi with Molly and Stephen tomorrow!

Zimbabwe, Fourth Entries

Fourth Entries: 5-21-10

I thought Africa would be different, different smelling air, etc...So far, I feel like I’m on vacation, enjoying much luxury. Antelope Park is such a beautiful place. We’ve just moved rooms due to the prayer and fasting, and now we’re quite removed from the goings-on at main camp. It’s very serene-a good place to rest and reflect.

Lounging at Antelope Park

We had a horse ride through the bush this morning, in hopes of seeing some game. We didn’t see too much--a few impala, a kudu (author’s note: this is like a mix between a cow and a deer), a warthog (my favorite!). It was a beautiful ride. My horse, Jackson, along with Nathan’s, Jacko, were very slow. It was a nice ride, but my butt hurt after. I thought a lot about people train to ride horses in movies and how strong you must be to do it. The moment the horses actually picked up speed, I squealed and bounced all over the saddle!

Afterward, people began arriving for prayer and fasting. I met Mbonisi, a pastor in Bulawayo, an his wife Tash and their two beautiful boys. I also met Molly and her husband Stephen, who work at Ebenezer, and Taps who pastors a church in Mguza. It’s nice to finally put faces to the names I’ve heard at table-side chat with Sam, Marlene and Sue.

...

There are gorgeous birds here, that look plain black and boring, but in the sunlight are in fact navy blue, and when they spread their wings, have a bright blue and orange stripe. One just pooped, yuck. Not on me, thank goodness.

Sam said he thinks Zimbabweans are the most peace-loving people he’s ever met and Sue agreed. Despite power cuts (ie power goes out randomly) and poor political leadership, they are happy. It’s really wonderful to see God moving here and blessing Zimbabwe, building a strong, wonderful church. Molly shared that a few young men from Ebenezer have really changed and are now sold out for the Lord. So good to hear familiar phrases out of our sister’s mouth.

The housekeeper just came in. She was a beautiful, elderly black woman. Beautiful. She called me “mama.” So sweet.

Evidently, Harare can got without power for days, whereas power cuts are more predictable and occur 3 to 5 times a week, at that, in Bulawayo.

I had some good conversation today with Nathan and Greg. Oh! And we saw elephants feeding when we walked back to our room, so we snapped a few pictures.

Prayer and fasting in about an hour. Better rest up before that.

(napping commences)

Zimbabwe, Third Entries

Third Entries: 5-20-10

Good morning! Had a good sleep last night- again, in a bed. The mission house is so beautiful. I’m sitting under a thatch-roof hut that sits in the middle of the grounds. It’s cool and windy today and I’m still feeling a bit under the weather (Author’s note: I contracted a cold the day I left).

Mission House in Bulawayo

We go to Antelope Park today, for some good time with wildlife. Hopefully its a bit warmer there so we can spend time outside.

It smells different here- a faint scent of burning, or of that which was once burned. Is this the life for me? This is the though I contemplate. Have I become so Americanized? So used to Boston living this this doesn’t jive with me? Am I forcing it? This is my first experience really living abroad. I know I fear making mistakes, and that learning a new culture, a different way of life is filled with mistakes. I’m already noticing my shortcomings, failing to choose the less-good food, eating seconds, taking the good chair--are these emanations of selfishness? My need for comfort? I am displeased with myself, but I also think I’m being too critical...

...

We arrived at Antelope Park! Our drive was pleasant--”the girls’ car” with Sue-an English woman who moved here from South Africa. She’s really sweet and wonderful. I got to know Marlene a bit better.

At the park, we met our guide, Evans. He’s a tall Zimbabwean who is soft spoken, but hilarious. Can’t wait to go on some adventures with him. We hung out a bit on the veranda, which was breathtaking. The sky here is so blue due to lack of pollution and the clouds billow and pile and roll in like cotton mounds. Just lovely. After getting our rooms, Nathan, Ginger and I went to walk with the lions! We hopped in the back of a buggy-jeep and drove out into the bush to a caged area where two 16 moth old lions, Meggie and Thulani, were kept. They came out and we walked with them, pet them, took pictures, held them by the tail. It was unbelievable. They were only two months from being trained to hunt as they would in the wild. It was just nuts!

My new lion friend

Then, we came back and Ginger and i got tea, took some sunset pictures, then visited with Sam and Marlene before Sam and Greg left for what is termed the “night encounter,” where the lions hunt and kill. While they were away, we had dinner and played Five Crowns, a really fun card game (Post-trip note: this game would fill a lot of our down time during the trip). After that was over, Sam and Greg still weren’t back. Ginger and I went out to a lonely firepit and chatted with some park guards, talking about travel and climate and our countries. They fetched more wood for us and then left us to listen to all the sounds of the night under a star and moonlit sky. It was so quiet--you could hear the fire burning, the lions roaring, birds chirping, plops in the water...all under a glorious African sky. I can’t believe I’m here.

I struggle with wanting to go back home immediately, anxious about the next days here and how they’ll pass, or wanting to stay forever. What does this mean?

Zimbabwe, Second Entries

Second Entries: 5-19-10

Arrived last night in South Africa about 9:10pm. I finally have stamps in my passport! After a somewhat stressful search for my ride and team, I found them. It was nerve-racking, walking around as a single white woman, looking lost, cabbies left and right offering rides. Nevertheless, I met up with Tim, our host, and Greg, one of my teammates. Time was really cool, impressed with my good packing job, and drove us to his house to stay the night. To be honest, it almost felt like California-a background with a playhouse and a trampoline, we watched Patch Adams while drinking Rooibos tea, chatting a bit. So, now, introducing the team...

Greg: a dad with 19 year old daughter on the year team in South Africa. He’s very kind, dad like and from Missouri. He and his wife started an appliance maintenance business and now they have funds to send and go, pretty cool.

Ginger: an (I’m guessing) 30 year old woman, from Oregon originially, now in St.Lous, did a year team in 1999, would like to live abroad, seems like a fun lady!

Nathan: a 26 year old, married with a new baby, enjoys coffee and talking...a very nice guy.

Everyone at this point is still in the “feeling each other out” stage, well, except for Greg--he seems really at ease, which is a comfort to me.

We had a nice breakfast and chat with Tim’s wife, Lindsey. Then, off to the airport. Nathan was on an earlier flight than the rest of us, so we all hung out at a cafe. Got through security and then took a bus to the plane. People are so friendly here, talking to you like they’ve known you for years. I just got this good treatment for an older woman with the calmest voice.

Then, we got dropped off at the tiniest plane, an MA 60. It’s pretty weathered and loud, but we’re in the air on the way to Zim.
...

Well, I’m now in Zim. The flight was weird, I’ll call it vintage. Sam picked us up-he’s very kind, I really like him. He really loves the Lord and serving Him in a practical way. He makes missioneering real for me, not something far off and unattainable.

The guys that gave us our visas were sweethearts--a bit embarrassed by their meager airport, ie a series of three corrugated steel barns. But, the real deal is being redone, hopefully “if they keep their word,” by the end of the year. A young man checked my bag named Providence-a coincidence? I think not...

After Sam picked us up, we went on a long drive to the house that will serve as our base. It’s beautiful. The grounds are gorgeous-well kept by the caretakers, Anderson and sheila. Same introduced us to his wife, who is the sweetest, most softly spoken woman. She reminds me of a younger version of my grandma. We chatted for a long time about customs and schedules. Here's the basic outline of the trip:

We met our guides for the week, a wonderful couple named Sam and Marlene Poe and had a great dinner, prayed a bit and got the basic outline of the trip. Here goes:

Wednesday: Arrive

Thursday: Go to Antelope Park.

Friday: Morning-Antelope Park
Afternoon-Prayer and Fasting to begin at 4:30

Saturday: Prayer and Fasting (12pm)
Afternoon-Return to Bulawayo Mission House

Sunday: Got to Kezi for the Crossroads Church service

Monday: Tour Ebenezer

Tuesday: More time in Kezi
Return to Bulawayo in the Afternoon

Wednesday: Leave to Mashonaland
Stay night in Harare

Thursday: Travel to Dotitto for Chronological Bible Storying (CBS) Training

Friday: Finish CBS training
Return to Harare

Saturday: CBS Training in Peri-Urban Areas

Sunday: Church service in Harare at Westgate
Drive back to Bulawayo Mission House and Pack Up

Monday: Fly to South Africa

Tuesday: Fly from South Africa to Atlanta (night)

Wednesday: Fly from Atlanta to Boston

And here's a map so you have a visual clue of whereall I went...


Then we have a delicious dinner of native foods-a salad of cucumber, tomato, and cabbage, beef and onions in a sweet curry sauce, and what Zimbabweans call “sweet potatoes”-a white potato with a delightfully subtle sweetness to it. Delish! Then tea and cookies for dessert. A good night.

On the flipside, I’m not quite sure why I’m here. I guess I’m a bit disappointed. I feel like I don’t have the answers that people want from me, I’m unimpressive...maybe this is God working on my people-pleasing and showing me that faith is not found in people’s approval, but in Him...

Headed to Antelope Park tomorrow. Maybe I’ll walk with the lions?! (Post-trip remark: I did.)

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Acts 1:8

Zimbabwe, First Entries

Hello all. Three months after the fact, I'm finally getting to sort through my journal covering my time in Zimbabwe...so, over the next week, I'll be posting the summaries, reflections, and ruminations from the amazing trip I had in Zimbabwe. I've edited a bit for interest and grammar, but this is mostly everything I wrote during my time there. So, without further ado, enjoy...

First Entries: 5-18-10

Well, I made the first leg. I’m currently sitting in Amsterdam’s Schiphol (pronounced Skip-Hole) airport awaiting my flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. The first flight was pretty painless for being 6 hours and 43 minutes - I was able to sleep through most of it - so I’m pretty much adjusted to Zimbabwe time now - same as Amsterdam time. It’s about 9am here, an hour and a half til take off.

God blessed me with a great row buddy for my flight - Cynthia from Vermont, a gardener turning nurse, who classifies herself as “always random, never sketchy,” and, cherry on top, Christian! She prayed for me before we landed. She hadn’t flown in 8 years - she had been all over the world, but never much liked the flying. She was headed to Rome to visit her best friend whom she hadn’t seen in decades. I held her hand during both takeoff and landing and she tugged my sweater back across me when it fell while I was sleeping (“the mom instinct,” according to Cynthia). And get this, she has a friend in Zimbabwe, who has a game park by Bulawayo--perhaps the one we’re visiting. (Post-trip remark: this was not the game park we visited.)

The Amsterdam airport is a bit like being in a giant IKEA. Everything is very sleek and modern. The signs are golden IKEA yellow, nearly everything that can be automated is--mini-victory--I successfully exchanged USD for Euros and got Starbucks for breakfast--just like home! It’s those little familiarities that have helped so far. .

Getting on the plane was a bit nuts. I was in line to go through the gate, and then they had to check my passport because I’d checked in online. After a successful passport check and descent down the loading tunnel, I realized I was missing my sweater--kind of a big deal when its the only one you brought for two and a half weeks. I got it back, after being questioned by 3 people. Then on the plane and all good.

On the plane in Amsterdam...definitely getting the international flavor--the older Spanish gentlemen seated by me, the old friends at Starbucks chatting in Dutch as one points out the schmutz on the other’s face. Beauty in simple things, not lost in translation.

Weird covers of current songs are playing on the airplane, like Kings of Leon “Use Somebody” sung much slower, just voice and piano, by a girl. Bizarre.

I’m still not really in a “God-place”--it’s been awhile since I’ve spent real time with Him apart from church. I think today on the plane will provide a lot of opportunity. I don’t really know what God has in store for me. But I pray He speaks, directs me and helps me discern.

Before I went through security at Boston, Katie and I prayed and she told me about a man who was a missionary to the US from Rwanda. He said, “I never worry about getting there, because God called me to that place. It’s the getting back that I worry about.” Needless to day, that helped me relax a bit, and it was a sweet moment with Katie.
Now, on to 10 hours and 43 minutes in the air...let’s hope I can stay awake.

Reflection on plane, whilst an hour outside of South Africa:

I’m excited to pray and hear God speak to us and the people we meet. No doubt, I’m a bit nervous and scared, but I know God’s got me in His hand-safe and empowered by the Spirit. I have to try in order to learn. Shortcomings are okay, God covers and uses them.

...

Sorry, I'm a Christian

Hey world. My roommate posted this to his facespace the other day and it resonated with me. As you know, I'm a fan of Don Miller. In his book, Blue Like Jazz (which sorry, I keep harping on about), he and his friends at Reed college in Oregon put together a "confession booth" wherein, rather than people coming in and confessing to them, they confess to the people, apologizing for the terrible things they've done, the terrible things Christians over history have done, the way Christians fail in their daily lives and end up as hypocrites. This is a modern, poetry-jam version of what I imagine Don saying to people. In fact, it recounts several things he does mention saying in his book. Anyway, this guy Chris Tse is pretty great.

Warning, he uses language many would term, and in fact one comment-poster labeled, "non-Christian" (ie the f-word). This comment-poster questions Chris Tse's identity as a Christian because of the use of this one word and the way he describes the failings of the Christian church. The comment poster said we should pray for Chris Tse to know Christ. To me, it is blatantly obvious that this poet is Christian, is expressing his raw anger and sadness and repentance for the things he and others have done in the name of Christ. I think we need to be careful to use "prayer" as a form of pity. It seems at face value that this poster pities the poet and is using the term "pray for him" to condemn the poet. Let's not use "prayer" to slight someone, but to lift them up. And let's refrain from judging. ( I know, hypocritical I am--judging this comment-poster to an extent). Anywho, let us lift one another up and bear with one another in love.

Sweet, enjoy the video friends. I hope it finds some relevance with you.

In An Instant

I am comfortably sitting on the carpet of Logan Airport Terminal B awaiting a flight home. But, how I got here today was not so simple. I was with someone when they're life changed in an instant.

My dear friend, Noelle, and I hopped into a cab to go to the airport today. We chatted about going home, our relationships with our parents...the typical hummings of pre-departure. The roads are packed this day, as they have been for the past few, as thousands of students exit the city in hopes of a spring break to remember. Amidst our buzzing conversation, our cab collided into the car in front of us in an swift moment. Brakes screeched. Air-bags deployed. Seat belts stretched taut.

See, a person two cars ahead of us had come to a dead stop, for no particular reason. The car in front of us did as our driver did, slammed on their brakes to avoid hitting the one in front of us. Well, neither of the cars brakes were good enough and hence the collision. Here's the cherry-topper--the first car in the build-up, yeah, he split, leaving two car-fuls of people without words.

Our driver drove out of the tunnels with the people we hit. They exchanged information and we continued to the airport. We asked our dear driver if he was alright. He said yes, but this meant the end of his job. One accident=no more car in the cab-driving industry, or at least the cab company he worked for. As he raised his hand to scratch his head, we noticed a hospital band on his arm with the handwritten word "BOY."

"Have you had a child recently?" Noelle asked.

"Yes, just two hours ago. A boy," he replied.

A picture of his daughter hung from the sun-blinder just above where the airbag had deployed. We did our best to encourage him. When we got to the airport, we saw the real damage. The front of the car was completely smashed in; the back of the SUV we ran into had simply glided over the cab's bumper and taken out the front half of the car. We said our goodbyes and then stood in the airport to pray for that man, to praise God for getting us to the airport safely, that God would help this man with two children. This man's life changed in an instant, and we were there for that instant. His life will not be the same from that point. He has no job, a recovering wife, and two children to care for. Needless to say, the social worker in Noelle and I both rose to the surface, but all we could do for him in that moment was pray. So, that's what we did.

I still don't really know what to make of this moment. Not everything comes to easy conclusions, nor does everything wrap up into perfect packages with sparkly bows. Maybe, if you could pray for this man. Maybe if we realized how quickly things can change, instead of drumming along through life. I don't know. Take what you will.

And as a side note, I'm perfectly fine. Praise God. That's really all it comes down too.

Funk and Jazz

Today I woke up in a funk. You know, the days when you feel like you've been nice for long enough and the things you tend to put up with and think, well that's just how it is, become intensely annoying and you don't feel like faking it anymore. Yep, that was today. But I got up and headed off the Starbucks with Bible and journal in tow to continue my reading of 1 Corinthians. I started reading 1 Corinthians because my pastor said it would be a good idea. It was. But today I was in 1 Corinthians 13, you know, the famous chapter about love. Needless to say, I was not in the mood. I wanted to have love and for the words Paul wrote a long time ago to sink into my soul. But my funk persisted and I couldn't get into it.

I went to church and heard a good message that was about peace and the joy of the Lord, and I asked God to give that peace and joy to me. It didn't come right away. The funk persisted through lunch and I decided to go home because I would only be a detriment to others in this state. So I came home, put on my pajamas and hopped under my comforter with Blue Like Jazz.

I've been working through Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz since about June of 2009, reading bits in spurts, trying to process through it and read it with a more critical eye than I did in high school when I thought it was extremely poignant. Truth is, it's not too much that's new, but Don Miller presents it like a real person. That's what makes it good.

Anyway, I picked it up today and read his two chapters on Love. I think they're the best in the book, especially the one about loving others. In the book, Don (I call him Don because he's a person and I think if we met, we'd be on a first name basis) talks about how discourse on love is rife with economic metaphor; we value people, we invest in people, some relationships are bankrupt. In short, we treat love like money, giving it to those we support or approve of and withholding it from those we don't like. It's funny, because I was just journaling about interfaith groups and how I feel that if I participated in one, I'd be supporting something I didn't believe in. I'd be giving my time and energy to something and thus validating it.

But love is not money.

God does not withhold love to teach lessons or to support something that falls into strict boundaries. God lavishes love on us. Knowing this, that I use love like money and that it's not ok, has freed me, just like it did for Don. I want to replace my economic metaphor with a magnet metaphor. A magnet just sits where it is placed and attracts things, because of the natural force it puts out. (Ok, I'm not a scientist, I don't really know how magnets work except on a basic level, so if this is off, just look at it metaphorically like I am.) And magnets draw things from somewhere else. Well, I want God's love to pour out of me like a force in a magnet, so people are drawn from the mire toward healing. I want the freedom to treat anyone and everyone like they're my best friend. I don't want to withhold love anymore in hopes of changing something about someone. See, it's not my responsibility to change people. God takes care of that. It's my responsibility to express love and approval, a love that brings people out of the mire toward and into healing--just like God did and is doing in me.

the fateful non-blizzard of 2010 and riding on the bus

Thanks to all of you who were so concerned for my safety and well-being yesterday for what seems like every news station on the planet was forecasting as one nasty blizzard. Well, here's the real story, no thanks to our meteorologist friends. Well, first, the night before...

I was exhausted, so I took a nap, setting my alarm for 6:30. I woke up at 8:10 (oops) and proceeded to freak out about missing my alarm and being late for my 8:00am class, rushed to the window because it was oddly dark outside and looked frantically for snow. There was none, which meant class wasn't cancelled. As I began to grab my towels to go take a shower, my mind caught itself and I realized it was 8:10pm. What a ding-dong I am...

Now, for the real deal. The morning began calmly, with a few gently snowflakes falling as I walked into my class. Then about midway, the snow started falling more rapidly and at an angle. I thought to myself, Here we go. But by the end of my class, 11am, the angled flurry had come to an end, and the ground had nothing to show for it. Long story short, the school closed at 2pm for my first snow day! But, the snow never really came. Sure, it was windy and the snow was definitely horizontal, but it was light. We got like 3 inches max. So much for my blizzard.

Other than that, I have found riding the bus to lend me some of my most interesting observations. It is a time when I am all alone and yet surrounded by the steady drum of varied life that this city offers. Just this night, coming home from an evening at MIT, I witnessed several intriguing characters. One man, nearing his fifties, sported a bumblebee-striped beanie, black flooded slacks and the oldest pair of red hightop converse that I've seen in awhile. They were more of a brownish-red than the bright red you see in stores today. Anyway, he lept down the stairs to exit the bus as if he were 13 years old again. It brought a smile to my face.

Then there was a young man who seemed like a character out of a movie. Overly confident, saw a couple of guys he knew with an attractive young lady, who appeared as though she'd just lost her title as certified jail-bait, and proceeded to flirt, relentlessly. Offering her his gloves after he shook her hand, then telling her how fly fishing was an art, not a sport, but required beer nonetheless. When the girl had to get off the bus, he gave her a wink and an "I hope I see you again," with a laugh and a smile as he watched her walk down the street. When he reached his stop, he bounded out the bus, sprinted across the street and hurried down the road to a nearby bar.

My favorite today was the most tired looking man. He was worn out from head to toe, clad in sweats and a flannel shirt. He was carrying two pink roses from CVS. Call me a sap, but I thought it was the sweetest thing. I hope one day I have a guy, who after a long day at work, goes out of his way and stops by somewhere to pick up something of beauty for me.

I know, I'm sentimental. I'm a romantic. I'm coping with it.

Maybe these bus characters are not of interest to you, but in them I see light and life and at the very least, entertainment. Do enjoy. I bid you adieu.

hello world

I know I've been absent for far too long. What can I say? Sometimes the actual living of life (rather than the reflecting on it) gets the best of me. I think almost every day about writing, but I rarely think its worth sharing with others, my small, silly thoughts. So I hoard them in nifty journals and enjoy the moments of truth and love and peace that God gives me on my own. Alas, why have a blog if I don't even share my life? Silly me. Well, hopefully that will change in the new year.

One of these things that I've been hoarding to myself is how much I love God and how much God is changing me and how He is moving in this city. That's right: I'm coming out of the closet. I love Jesus and there's no stopping it. Recently, God has been showing me that I've over-intellectualized His word, and by doing that I've successfully fallen out of love with Him. But you know what He did, He romanced me and I fell in love again. Head over heels, people. It is good to find rest in God's word, rather than perceptions of failure. Grace, grace, grace.

Also, I'm feeling way better about being in the city. It is where I'm supposed to be. I have surrendered to it. I have surrendered my locality in this world to God, and He's got me here for good reason. Here is one of them: my new friend Renee is beginning an intentional community in the southern edge of Boston called C.R.E.A.T.E. (Christian Relationships Enabling A Transformative Environment). In this part of Boston, over 25% of the population falls below the poverty line. Thousands of students fill the city each year to attend some of the most elite colleges, and yet in this part of the city, only half of the children graduate from high school and fewer than 10% go to college. Crazy, right?! So, she's buying a house and inviting some students to live there, to love people and provide needed things and to hopefully share the love and light of Christ. I'm praying about joining them right now. I'm feeling pretty good about it, but it's scary to let go of comfort, of my own room, of my own schedule. I realized I probably sound pretty selfish after that statement. I'm praying that God would take away my selfishness and bring me confidence in where I live next year, wherever that is.

Oh! And this past weekend I spent at a monastery in Cambridge. It was wonderful! Single room, endless amounts of tea, reading my school books (not as cool) and Persuasion (very cool). Reading Persuasion is such a wintry thing for me, and it really came to life in the silence of the monastery. Alas, sometimes I long for the chaste courting of early 19th century England...

I apologize that this lacks my typical diction. Fare the well, world, til the next installment.

like books i stole from the library...

this is long overdue. I must admit, endeavoring to begin a blog the moment I arrived in a new city awaiting my appraisal and judgment was a bit overzealous of me. The past month has brought its fair share of joy and sadness, but I'm starting to feel more hopeful about my life here. To recap, here are a few highlights and lowlights from the past month:

Highlights

1. Successfully breaking into my home just in time to save a delicious loaf of banana bread from being ruined. I cracked my room-mate's window and climbed through, that's right, I'm MacGyver.
2. The abundance of love that has been sent my way in the form of packages, postcards, thoughtful notes, goodies and CD mixes to make me feel like the west coast is not so far.
3. Not-so-surprise visit from my momma for her birthday. Uncannily lovely weather while she was here.
   
4. My mom relating everything that happened the weekend she was here to her birthday, as in "Look, fireworks...for MY birthday," or "A parade...for MY birthday. Boston, you've really outdone yourself." (Mind you, she was here the weekend of Columbus Day and this is one patriotic city, being involved in the American Revolution and all. Any chance Boston has to celebrate, they do.)
5. Eating cannoli at Mike's Pastry.
6. Sort-of snow. It didn't stick.
7. Finding out I can have my groceries delivered when it's snowy and cold outside...or even when it isn't.
   

Lowlights

1. Enduring 3 midterms in one week.
2. Getting sick in the middle of midterms in one week.
   
3. Being sad and missing California.
   
4. Holding a "you're an alcoholic" semi-intervention with a room-mate.
5. My iPhone falling into the toilet. (post-bummer high: getting a new phone)

Truly, the past few weeks have been difficult. Perhaps the subconscious reason behind my refrain from writing was the fear of composing the seriously unattractive emotional outpouring common to so many blogs. Here is something I wrote on the T while thinking about what to write in my next entry...

Here I am, transplanted from the sunrays of my beloved west coasts, with its tall redwoods, glorious sunsets, and beaches more akin to those I've strolled along in Hawaii. I'm attempting to figure a life at both ends of the continental Us. And as Ben Gibbard's soft refrain slumbers in my ear, I think I agree. I need you so much closer. Whether that "you" is the eternal You whom I praise and seek to give all of my mind, heart and soul, or the many yous who sit on my fair western coast, or the new yous I've met in Boston who, though mere miles way, seem otherworldly because of the stifling clutter of the city. So, I try to forge my bi-coastal life and attempt to fall just as much in love with the east as I am with the west.

I remember feeling sad, alone and unsure if I could ever love this city. But all of my writing from the past weeks is infused with hope, granted by God alone no doubt. And this hope finds its feet in simple actions of my days. Already, my life is ordinary here, but it has bits of the special, the extraordinary that give me joy. I so enjoy riding the subway through underground tunnels and surfacing in what seems to be a new world, although it is just an extension of the one I left before going subterranean. I love that I am reading Jane Austen's Persuasion while doing so. And while the sunset is not quite that of California, it is beautiful. Today, the sky was mostly filled with dark solid clouds, but where the sun punched through, a small clearing, the sky appeared as if the cotton fluff that fills pillows had spilled out over it, painted in the most brilliant hues of orange and coral. And I thought it wonderful, and it spoke of hope, the little remnant that is all I need to get through.

mi casa

So...upon talking to you all, I've been charged to post a few picture of my home. Here they are...
From left to right:
1. I really love this picture. It turned out much cooler than I thought it would. I love the sad pink-beige paint of my door, that's been piled on over many years. And my golden doorknob (with NEW locking action!), which hints at the goodness that lies therein. And who holds the key? JESUS! That's what I call symbolism. Matthew 7:7 kiddos!
2. Peeking in...on where I spend most of my days.
3. My nest! It now features even more pillows. It is a lovely little twin-sized bed. I do not look depressing in it, Mr. Ben Gibbard.

Down below:
1. This silly thing I picked up at IKEA for wall decor holds a few special things.
2. DESK!!! Those books on the end are for my church history and Hebrew Bible courses. As I recently told a special amiga, "they are yelling at me like acne scarred pre-teens, 'read me first.'" I'm getting there.

So that's a little taste! I love my small abode. It is a good home.

the first of many...

Hello all!

Starting is always the most difficult, so they say. Sure, it was painful to see the tears in my mother's eyes as I drove away to my new apartment, but it is good to do new things. So here I am, completely uprooted from the comfortable life I knew, ready to lay down some new seeds and roots here in Boston.

So far, the adjustment hasn't been too bad, perhaps due to maturity or the lessening of social awkwardness that defined the start of undergrad for me. In reality, everything is dandy! My room-mates (Matt, a charming young man in the theology program with me; Jayne, a lovely lady studying sacred music at the school of theology too; and Raquel, who we've all deemed the epitome of young professional) are wonderful and functioning quite well as my little family. Our humble abode certainly looks shabby from the outside, and partially from the inside (note: fist-punch holes in my walls which I've attempted to mask by strategically placing photos and art), but it is a HOME, not a house, and that, my dear friends, is tremendous! Not to mention the rent is substantially less than that of our classmates...

School seems to be a-ok. I've been a reading monster today, slogging through several pages on church history...much more interesting than anticipated. And I'm learning to be thankful and excited for the opportunity to read about Jesus and Paul and God for school. It is pretty nifty after all. About to embark on some Old Testament reading, a class which is led by a preacher's daughter from Tennessee who takes an intense stance when addressing students that I've termed the "Captain Morgan," that comes complete with bent knee and fist on hip. Quite entertaining.

As for the city, I haven't seen all that much, but I love the walking here! After my desk job, I missed it very much and it's been nice to stroll over to the market or a restaurant. Although I don't know how that'll work out once it's snowing...I was browsing winter coats with both delight (oo snow! oo cute!) and horror (ahhh snow! ahhh cost!) and have decided to wait a little bit longer before investing in something substantial.

Well, there it is, a start. Write to you all soon.

Grace and peace,
Betsy